Mike and Vanessa: a messy kind of love
The kind of love that scares me but the kind of love I think I want.
I went to Joshua Tree for the first time this weekend. Everytime I go to California, I’m reminded of how beautiful and diverse the state’s geography is. We drove three hours east into the burning hot desert, and I could still see snowy peaks from the highest mountaintop. Insane.
But this story isn’t about me or the burning hot desert. This is about Mike and Vanessa.
About a year into their relationship, Mike and Vanessa got married in Vegas. A “shotgun” wedding you might say. He told his family nothing, no heads up, no warning. His dad learned about the news on Facebook. His mom and sister felt robbed of the experience. And obviously, they neither liked nor trusted the new woman in his life.
They have 7 children between them from past and current relationships. They are your classic young-ish, Los Angeles hustlers. The type of hustle that is so hard and exhausting you have to respect it.
They opened a restaurant last year. Colombian street food so think arepas, empanadas, picadas, salchipapas. What started as not even a food truck in 2024 is now a standalone restaurant at the border of Echo Park.
They are at that point in owning a business where they are doing everything to make it work, and I respect the hell out of it. But it has infected every part of their dynamic. Imagine living, working, sleeping and raising children with one other person.
(I guess that is what marriage is, technically…)
But just the thought of spending that much time with someone scares me.
Mike and Vanessa argue a lot. The type of arguing that borders on mean, condescending, and straight up bullying. They don’t communicate well at all.
(Do not put them in charge of the navigation, trust me.)
But even through the toxicity, I would pick a relationship like Mike and Vanessa every single time. A relationship that’s incredibly messy and chaotic but genuinely fun. A relationship that’s more like a friendship, in that they actually like each other and actually like spending time with each other.
They smoke together. Go to concerts together. Travel together. They experience life together.
Growing up, I never saw that. Instead, I saw couples who were together for convenience. Couples who did what they “should do”. House, baby, marriage (or baby, marriage, house—I’ve seen it done many ways except for marriage first.)
Eventually these couples settle down and get comfortable. And these couples might work for a few years, or maybe until their kids are off to college. But eventually, they break up because these couples are only right for the moment.
Mike and Vanessa are right forever. One who took a chance, moving across the country at the precipice of the cannabis boom in hopes that he would benefit from the 2010s gold rush. One who left their country six years ago, and hasn’t been back home since. Not because she doesn’t want to, but because she can’t.
She’s a hustler because she has to be, he’s a hustler because he wants to be, but hustlers nonetheless.
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RIGHT FOREVER